And there's now this big hole inside, like i was punched deep into my chest, and something is grabbed out, leaving an empty room decorated with scars, commanding me to constantly hug myself.
But griefs and joy are everywhere. Every one has their own problems, here and there.
And sometimes we are going to have to get forced to put on a smile, demands the society, covering up whatever is storming inside.
Left out are the feelings to be thrown up.
I personally cannot deny the fact that i will be stoned to lose you. The bitter fact that it is nobody's fault, only how the nature works kills me a lot more than anything.
Smile is no longer valid. So this is how it feels like to fake a smile. Every single time i have to meet anyone. My mind was never wherever i am since then. I wonder when will i get over this grief.
No matter which side i face, the thoughts of hearing your hysteric screams and cries, and the following vision of losing you kills. It is only until now that i realize how scary the thoughts of losing you is. And i am scared, big time.
And i wish a whip of hair can turn back time. To let me value your efforts and thoughtfulness of dealing with me. If distance is something that is going to separate us from now on, i am not giving up. You have been a truly dearly person to me, and you never gave up on me no matter how hurtful i was to you, and so that is what i am going to pay back.
On my final thoughts, i am in grief and horrible sadness, but there is nothing i can do to flip it all over. I do not give up on you, no matter what the future brings. I will always be a dearly person to you, as you are to me. I wish you wisdom and joy, for all the next decisions you have to take. May they always be full of blessing, towards you and everyone involved. And i love you.
Pants from: @lavale.collection
Striped top: @61clothing
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Say hi to me at felicia.marcellina@gmail.com. We'll do high-five!