24.7.16

A Hearty Letter of Deep Thoughts in: Grand Hill Hotel Puncak


It's one of those nights when you really do not feel like sleeping, 
and a troll of thoughts just come into your mind at once. 


So i have never really made a hearty post ( a post that actually describes how i feel), like a 'curhat' post, but this time i actually am in the mood to do that. So please bear with me.


To the guy that i know am reading this, i would just like to say thank you. Thank you for all the times that we went through together. Thank you for keeping up with my mood swings, for keeping silent and not answering back whenever i throw you with crazy non-stop cuss, for sending me stupid pictures to laugh over, for staying whenever i tell you to leave, for teaching me to be independent, for not spoiling me like other rich guys to their baby doll girlfriends, for not being mad when i ignore you (70% of the time), for singing me to sleep with all those music, for always trying to find topics whenever i do not want to talk, for sending me flowers and food lol, for taking me to random places to chill when i need to, for filling in the silence when i keep quiet, for always mystically finding out whenever my mood is down, for reminding me the important things in life, and one of the most heroic and unselfish act a man can do, staying away obediently as told to when i was with somebody else, and coming right back when i decided to part him hurtfully.

And, for all the full of anger and tears moments we shared. 


And now, for the sorry part.

I am sorry.
For getting mad at you for no reason, i was just scared of losing you. For being so curious, i just wanted to understand life from your point of view. For letting out hurtful sayings and retarded cusses, sometimes my head does not really want to get independent, and all i want is to be relying on you, but you teach me not to. For not picking up your calls or replying your messages, i simply want you to come meet me. For getting your heart ship-wrecked with my wrecking-mood-swing-balls, i did not realize i was hurting you.

And on top of all, i am sorry i did not say yes, i was afraid our social status would not match.

I am a country girl coming from a small and hearty city, was not looking for any love match to upgrade my social status, you are an old player in the big 'ol city. I was too afraid to answer the many twirling questions in my head, 'would you be able to visit my small city and feel comfortable in your stay? will i ever 'fit in' in your family and vice versa? am i the lucky girl that can help you in your running empire?'

And now that things are well-sorted. I just want you to know that i am rooting for your happiness, with or without me. You will definitely always be my walkie-talkie, my human diary, my personal mood-detector, and of course my chaffeur ;) I love you best and cheers to single/attached life!

Eyelash Ext: Lashtique

Bye for now, Felicia Marcellina




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Love for you all, Cells.